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Hi x

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Lost2, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    Just looking at the icons on the right and I love the dancing giraffe - it made me smile :Leiaha:
    Life is pretty hard at the moment and I'm struggling to keep my head above water, so I feel like I'm drowning most of the time. Small things just seem to top me over and I'm not coping very well.
    My head is constantly full of suicidal thoughts and it is exhausting fighting them or batting them away - it would be so easy to just do it.
    At night I have to hide the garage door key in my daughter's room so I can't get to the rafters - I close my eyes and see myself hanging
    Not sure how to move forward of even if I want to - but I don't want to hurt my family, so I need to keep going
    Thanks for listening xxx
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    How to move forward you call your gp to get help okay get on meds get therapy and get you well again. Your daughter needs you to be there always for her. Call your doc okay see what can be done to get rid of these thoughts hugs
  3. clairedelune

    clairedelune Wanderer

    It's nice to know that you are helping yourself overcome this situation. Well, before things are too late, you need to get counseling and therapy ASAP. Your daughter loves you so much. There's a lot of people who care about you. You deserve happiness in this world. Love lots. :)
  4. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your replies - you make it sound so easy
    I spent 2 months in a psych unit earlier this year and have a diagnosis of complex PTSD
    There is no funding for therapy to help me, my psych has lost my notes so hasn't given me any medication and my GP says things like 'this is nothing new, it has been going on for years. You should be able to cope by now'
    So all in all I have very little support and understanding and a lot of pain and I'm tired
    Its past 3.30am and I have had yet another nightmare, my shin crawls and I hurt
    Wish I had the garage key
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i am sorry your gp said that to you It is obvious he hasn't got a clue what depression is No one can just get over it. ug maybe time to get a new gp a new therapist how unprofessional to loose your notes god. I hope you can find so professionals who will fight for you not dismiss you like your gp did. hugs
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Lost2, Welcome to the forums.. I hope you find some comfort here.. There are alot of us in your shoes.. Please don't harm yourself.. Try to find a new gp.. Some one who listens..
  7. foolnomore

    foolnomore Well-Known Member

    Hello lost2 ,things sound really rough for you at the moment ,but keep that key hidden . I know it isn't easy but perhaps the others are right and you need to find a new doctor. Keep posting and I am sure people here will support you ,they have me,so good job you found this place at least.
  8. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    hello and welcome..

    i hope you find the support you need here
  9. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    At least my little giraffe is still dancing!
    Wish I felt like dancing too but really can't remember the last time I felt full of life
    Its hard when you constantly feel pulled away from life as life hurts too much
    My GP has been good in some ways but MH is just not one of her strong points!
    I've learnt that its only me that can get through this - I just have to want to and atm I'm not sure I do
  10. wickedsick

    wickedsick Member

  11. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    Thankyou for your lovely welcome - it means a lot xxx
  12. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome to the forums,

    I can understand your feelings about life, you have a daughter which i am sure she would want you to be alive.

    Have you thought about changing your GP maybe?

    Myself and other members of this forum are here to provide you with the support and understanding you need.
  13. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    It's a hard one with my GP as there have been times when she has been really good and we normally have a good relationship - I just don't think she buys into the whole PTSD thing and understands the effects that nightmares and flashbacks have on me.
    She just does the 'what about your children?' lecture when I am struggling and that is not very helpful, but I'm just not sure what would be helpful right now. Would meds help? I'm not sure, I've been without any since February and I'm still here but my head is all over the place and the bad days outweigh the good
    Would therapy help? If so what kind? I just dont know where to turn next without being let down and hurt all over again
    Giving in seems like a much better option
  14. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member

    Ok first i would recommend medication, the medicine will help you increase your resources to cope with the problem. And unlike what you have maybe heard you won't be taking medicine your whole life, you'll just take medicine for a small period of your life; until your coping resources are increased and balance out or are more than your pain.

    Also going to a psychologist would also definitely help you as you would have someone to talk to which is very important.
  15. godsbeloved

    godsbeloved Active Member

    Hello and glad you made it here. I was really close a week or so ago, and I found this forum, and it helped me to get thru the worst of that episode. I am a mother too, so I understand the pressure of continuing with life for the sake of my children. I picture them going thru what they would if I went thru with it and I just can't do that. When it's bad is when you can't think of them anymore because the pain has taken over. I too have severe PTSD from an event back in 2005, and then a shocking tragedy with one of my sons in 2007. Have you heard of EFT? It is free and it helps me sometimes, and has been used very successfully with war vets, so it works with PTSD. Let me know if you are interested and I will point you to the EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) site to learn it.
  16. Lost2

    Lost2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the link to EFT - I have heard of tapping before but not EFT
    When i am not so tired I will have a good look at it and give it a go but have driven 300 miles today and am shattered, hopefully I will sleep better xxx
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