How's everyone doing tonight?? I'm Brandon, 33, and I've thought of suicide for years now. Even right now. I feel like I'm an embarrassment to whoever I'm around, I feel worthless, and completely empty. I have a wife who loves me, but I still wish to leave all this shit behind. I'm halfway to being a paramedic, I have a military career, but like before, I feel completely empty. I feel like being different is prohibited in the military and in some places, outside. I don't get into football, hunting, or cell phone apps, so I have little to talk about with anyone I come in contact with. I have about 4 people I actually call friends. Nobody gives a damn, so I figure why not do it. Obviously it wouldn't make a fuck to anybody. I'm just not strong anymore.