hello everyone my name is kathy and i joined this forum yesterday...couldn't really bring myself 2 even talk about this slump i've been in 4 almost 2 yrs now..still don't really know if i can, but i'll try 2 give a brief outline of how i came 2 be where i'm at in this life of mine...i've been married 16 yrs and seperated since this past february(almost a yr now). For the 1st 11 yrs of my marriage i supported my family while my husband was out cheating with any woman that said hi 2 him(please don't ask me why i stayed..i don't know)...anyway, i injured myself at work but not 2 the point i guess that i can get disability. At that point my husband decided he needed 2 work and it's been downhill ever since..bills don't get paid, he'd rather use his money 2 play. About 2 yrs ago he hooked up with a woman that evidently he thinks he'd be happier with than me and our 2 kids. Last x-mas we didn't even bother putting a tree up becus we had no money 4 presents 4 the kids and they said not 2 bother with a tree. For the last couple wks, my husband and i have talked about trying 2 work things thru and even buying a new house(a new house becus i'm in default on my mortgage on the 1 we're in now), but now he has left the state 2 work in Alabama(2 get the bills caught up he told me), and i just learned he took this girlfriend of his with him. Thursday is the day we were supposed 2 pay $3,000 to the finance company and the trailer park and he's left me and the kids basically on the street while he's off playing with this other woman. I don't know what 2 do or where we're goin 2 go. I have no job, no car, no money and now no house 4 my kids 2 live in. And i thought last x-mas was the worst...things just keep getting better and better. I honestly don't even wanna wake up x-mas morning, i really don't. And i'm scared that i'm thinking this way but i don't know how 2 stop this feeling. It's almost consuming my thoughts 24/7...just 2 close my eyes and never have 2 deal with anything ever again. I'm sorry..i guess i needed 2 just vent....
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