I'm new. I'm 50ish old RN. I'm not sure I'm depressed but my ENTIRE life Ive always thought, well if it gets too bad I'll just kill myself. I remember thinking this when I was 6 or 7. This is the first time I've told anyone. I have a husband, grown twins, house, job, animals and I'm just finished. I've started making plans. I haven't read all the rules. I'm probably violating something by writing this.