Discussion in 'Welcome' started by gaz, Apr 29, 2013.

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  1. gaz

    gaz New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I am a bit scared right now and stumbled upon this forum. Bit silly to be scared as I am a grown man apparently (just turned 30), I should be happy with my life and the people who love me but I am just so scared. Scared of so many things to list, I have tried to kill myself properly twice and self harmed a fair bit over the years to the point where I am disgusted with myself. I feel like I am just a drain on everyone, if it were not for people being upset I would be trying to kill myself again tight now, I try to make things better with drugs sometimes as I just want to stop thinking because my head hurts so much.

    I am sorry for the strange rant, It makes sense in my head and it is hard to put across in words. Hope everyone is ok tonight.
  2. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Hi gaz and welcome.. Lots of people here that feel just like you.. Maybe some talking with will help all of you some..have to ask!! Have you ever done any therapy with a professional??? I do not ask this lightly.. It saved my life..

    Look around some..hope we hear from you some more..TC, Jim
  3. Morisha

    Morisha Active Member

    I get your point,brother.
    Don't try to put yourself down like this. There's always a way to go and I'm sure you'll find your way sooner or later.
    What to you like the most ? Do you like going on vacation ? Hanging around and stuff ??

    Just take a day off and go to a spa with your loved ones,go swimming with them or just go and walk all alone in the beautiful woods.
    You'll definitely feel less stressed afterwards.

    Much love to you! :)
  4. gaz

    gaz New Member

    Thanks for the welcome :)
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hey gaz. I understand the whole trying to make things feel better with drugs. its self medication. Not sure if it really works though, to be honest with you. I also understand the feeling of, as you said "I feel like I am just a drain on everyone" The more depressed i feel, the more I feel like that. You wrote that you feel disgusted with yourself. So I think you came to the exact right place online. Because sadly lots of good people here feel that way. i hope you will continue to post here and get to know the community. Have you ever tried medication or therapy? sometimes it can make a big difference for people. Not always. But sometimes. anyway, good to meet you
  6. gaz

    gaz New Member

    I actually went to see a psychiatrist today for the first time, I am not sure if it has made me better or worse. I have been on different anti-depressent medications before which were prescribed by Doctors but I always stop taking them after a while as I feel they do absolutely nothing. Today I was prescribed an anti-psychotic drug which makes me scared, if this does not work what will they do next? It may sound silly but it seems like I am just waiting for the men in white coats turning up at my door lol.

    Thank you all for your kind words.
  7. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Gaz, it takes time, maybe a couple weeks of prescribed dosages to find out whether a med is going to help.. In the meantime if needed keep in touch with prescribing doctor.. The same goes for therapy and treatment..takes time to work and really get to know each other..

    Glad you made appt and went.. Know this can be very hard..is new territory and can be very hard to say stuff with someone you do not know..please keep with the meds and therapy and give it a chance..in the meantime is ok to talk here with us..many of us have gone thru this all.. jim
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forums gaz, im sorry for what you have been though, i hope we can help some bit :hug:
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