I would love to not feel so much sadness but it feels as if I'm wired to be depressed most of the time. Right now I'm trying to detox from alcohol. I've been drunk for 3 days and the problem is that I need booze to feel well which just gets me drunk again. I have to taper and maybe tomorrow Ill feel better and I won't drink. This life I'm living breaks my heart because I do feel very happy a lot but because of my dark moods I struggle. The hardest part is relationships. Isolation is my biggest problem and even talking to family truthfully is impossible. I'm reaching out here so that maybe there is someone who can understand what I'm feeling. I don't want to end life but I have felt such deep despair quite often. Thanks for reading.