Joined a couple of days ago, finally plucked up courage to introduce myself. I have suffered with depression for all of my life but particularly since my late teens, early twenties. Really don't know what it feels like to be happy. Have had suicidal thoughts for the past 5 years they are getting no worse at the moment but they don't ever go away. Have put a lot of effort into how and where, when? well I hope it never comes to that but I have my own supply of tablets which I know will do the job come the time if needed. I am married and have a wonderful Daughter but feel very lonely and untrusting of most people. I have various reasons for feeling the way I do. Have had counselling up until October last year it was a great help, though it did bring up all the worst things from my past and at times was extremely painful mentally. My counsellor was very good and I trusted her greatly, at least I have experienced what it is like to trust someone. I have very few friends mainly because I'm so untrusting and introverted I also hate to think I'm a burden on people so never ask for anything from anyone. Thanks for looking.