Discussion in 'Welcome' started by AlCal, Jun 20, 2014.

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  1. AlCal

    AlCal Member

    Hi, I've never joined a group like this. I was officially dx with MDD 2 years ago after starting residency training. Things have just gotten worse despite weekly therapy and being on multiple antidepressants. I just quit my job/career yesterday after being on a leave of absence for several months. Even though I cannot I imagine putting myself back into that work environment I feel so lost and dead already. I have never felt more suicidal and right now only hope I can act. I have lost my identity with this. For most of my life I have been in school making sacrifices and working extremely hard to be a doctor; after all the time, energy and money all I have to show for it is a mountain of debt and a degree that really is not transferable to any other career. Anyway, sorry for rambling I just can't deal with this and am really bad about talking to anyone in "real life" about this (or anything else for that matter)
  2. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    Hi! Welcome to the forum. This is definitely a place where you can feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and just letting it out. While myself or others may not have the answers, we can at least be here to listen and many can understand what you're going through. So sorry to read about your troubles. I've been in a situation where I didn't have a degree for 5 years worth of school I put in, on top of not being able to go into the field I though I wanted to. It was very hard to reconcile and took a lot of time and difficulties to get back on track. If you need someone to talk to or just listen, feel free to PM me.
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Welcome AlCal to SF, so glad you have reached out for some support at this time, in these circumstances. I do hope you find the forum supporting and encouraging and insightful to help you. It certainly helps to be able to express everything you're facing by writing it down and putting it "out there". People here are very caring and supporting, and will do their very best to offer their thoughts and insights - people who have found themselves facing similar situations in their own lives and what was able to help them, etc.

    Sorry that the therapy and the meds have not been a success so far. The top priority at the moment is to take care of You as the valuable person you are, despite any feelings that may rise up to say otherwise. It is possible to re-assess your evaluations about **stuff/everything** with expert counselling - if you are willing to try a different approach to getting it sorted, I do have the website details of a wonderful counsellor who would very much be able to help you in doing this, I can PM them to you if you would like that. Blessings and strength, please take care to keep yourself safe and not to give up on life because of how it's been so far - It can change :)
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Welcome to SF, I hope you find the help and support you need here.

    Take care

  5. AlCal

    AlCal Member

    Posting today is kind of a last ditch effort on life. youRprecious, I would appreciate advice from someone new. Could you let me know what website you referred to? I have been seeing my psychologist weekly and my psychiatrist weekly since d/c from hospital in April which hasn't helped. I know I shouldn't have, but I gave up on them and canceled future apts.
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