Discussion in 'Welcome' started by KupKate, Jul 13, 2014.

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  1. KupKate

    KupKate Member

    So hi. I'm not necessarily 'new', but this is my first forum post. I'm KupKate. I've been writing lyrics since Christmas '05 and as of now I have 7 1/2 composition books full of lyrics I either started or completed, plus a book of poetry. I've been writing prose since I was seven and English was probably my best subject (though I prefer science). I like to make people happy. If I'm sad, I try to make someone else happy, and if it works I won't be as sad anymore.

    I found out I have bipolar disorder right around my 16th birthday. I spent a week and a half in a local mental/behavioral hospital, my 16th birthday being right in the middle. The 8 months before that was hell. I was depressed as a kid and it's amazing that despite wanting to die from 1st grade on and being suicidal on and off (nothing serious til about 8 months prior) that I was okay and not in too bad of shape. The biggest hurdle was figuring out the problem, then taking the steps to fix it.

    I struggled with cutting for 2 1/2 years, well past my diagnosis. Finally, a conversation with a friend concluding with me swearing to stop was the motivation I needed to actually stop, and I'll be 17 months cut-free July 17th.

    It took me awhile, but I started owning my BPD instead of letting it own me. I now say 'I HAVE bipolar disorder' instead of 'I AM bipolar.' I'm using it to help people. My parents spent 16 years knowing something was wrong but not knowing what. I don't want anyone to go through that. I don't want anyone to feel alone and unloved because they're misunderstood. I like to think I help people, and I guess I do. But sometimes I'm overbearing and loudmouthed and people don't want me around.
  2. Concrete_Angel

    Concrete_Angel Forum Buddy

    Hello KupKate welcome to the forum :) its really inspirational that you help people and I'm sorry about the difficulties you've been going through. This site is very supportive and very helpful so if you need somebody to talk to feel free :) :hug:
  3. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    :welcome: to SF KupKate

  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum =)
  5. pooky

    pooky Living with A Beautiful Mind...

    Hi KupKate. Welcome to SF.

    It feels sad to know that someone has bipolar . I can somewhat feel what is going on inside you because of my fairly similar situation with you.(I too was diagnosed with something very similar when I was 16)

    Its good to know that you feel happy by making other people happy. By making others happy it not only benefits them but also you as well.

    And do keep up the great work of writing lyrics, poetry and stories. You can post them on SF in the creative corners so that we can read them and enjoy them.

    Lastly, take care of your health. Get good sleep at night, exercise, eat a balanced meal and try to socialize with people in real life. I know it's difficult, so do them slowly, one task at a time, breaking the tasks into smaller tasks and so on...

    You are definitely not alone...:arms:

    Keep posting...
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