So hi. I'm not necessarily 'new', but this is my first forum post. I'm KupKate. I've been writing lyrics since Christmas '05 and as of now I have 7 1/2 composition books full of lyrics I either started or completed, plus a book of poetry. I've been writing prose since I was seven and English was probably my best subject (though I prefer science). I like to make people happy. If I'm sad, I try to make someone else happy, and if it works I won't be as sad anymore. I found out I have bipolar disorder right around my 16th birthday. I spent a week and a half in a local mental/behavioral hospital, my 16th birthday being right in the middle. The 8 months before that was hell. I was depressed as a kid and it's amazing that despite wanting to die from 1st grade on and being suicidal on and off (nothing serious til about 8 months prior) that I was okay and not in too bad of shape. The biggest hurdle was figuring out the problem, then taking the steps to fix it. I struggled with cutting for 2 1/2 years, well past my diagnosis. Finally, a conversation with a friend concluding with me swearing to stop was the motivation I needed to actually stop, and I'll be 17 months cut-free July 17th. It took me awhile, but I started owning my BPD instead of letting it own me. I now say 'I HAVE bipolar disorder' instead of 'I AM bipolar.' I'm using it to help people. My parents spent 16 years knowing something was wrong but not knowing what. I don't want anyone to go through that. I don't want anyone to feel alone and unloved because they're misunderstood. I like to think I help people, and I guess I do. But sometimes I'm overbearing and loudmouthed and people don't want me around.