I guess I don't really know how to start this. I've never been brave enough to become part of a community like this. I'm Lixie. I'm 20 years old, and I am manic depressive. I don't know what else to say so I guess thats that. I could really use people to talk to about my episodes. I get so low and I have so many things in my life that are so painful and terrible and sometimes it would be easier to just end all of it.