Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Jenumbra, Feb 21, 2016.

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  1. Jenumbra

    Jenumbra SF Supporter

    Hi, I wanted to thank everyone for running the site and posting. I came here some months ago when I was feeling suicidal and reading this site made me feel better. People here seem very kind and supportive.

    I tapered off my antidepressants (lexapro and wellbutrin) last year thinking I would feel less numb and more emotional but I became very anxious and fell into a crippling depression. Tried tms (transcranial magnetic stimulation) but it didn't work for me and felt even more depressed. I lost my part time job have been isolating and find it difficult to take any action, stuck in bed not showering for days sometimes. I feel hopeless, my life feels meaningless.

    I have a few people who seem to care but don't know how to help me or don't want to be too involved, also my brain is being negative and I don't feel cared for anyway. I am frustrated with myself because I'm so dysfunctional and things seem so difficult to get done. I saw a couple of therapists and a psychiatrist recently. I need to make some follow up appointments and hopefully new medication will help.

    Thanks for reading and I wish everyone well.

    - Jen
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  2. booklovr

    booklovr Well-Known Member

    Hi Jen
    I'm really glad that this site helped you.
    And I totally understand the negative feelings and how U feel uncared for despite having people who may care.
    Sharing and venting always always helps its like sharing the load you were carrying all alone.
    Id like to give you a thousand hugs..and tell you itd all be okay.we R all here for you.
    I really really hope the new medication is effective and you finally fight off these demons haunting you.
    We are all in the same boat..hun please don't lose hope..you WILL get better.
    Good luck.and take care.
    sahel and Jenumbra like this.
  3. Jenumbra

    Jenumbra SF Supporter

    Thank you for the sweet message Kriti I appreciate it. :)
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am happy you found this site, and that you have found it helpful so far hun

    One of the 'evil' things about depression is that our brain lies to us and tells us that no one cares or could, or would help us. I'm sure people around you would love to help you. But I think you do know that... Often people don't know how to help and are scared to make it worse. Being open with those you trust is difficult but it does help.

    I also think it would be good for you to make those appointments, and rather sooner than later hun. You deserve to take good care of yourself. You deserve to feel better!

    Take care of yourself hun.
    sahel, Jenumbra and booklovr like this.
  5. Fluffypingu

    Fluffypingu Safety and Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf my name is aimee I am about most of the day in uk time so feel free to pm me if u need any support
    Jenumbra, JmpMster and Freya like this.
  6. Jenumbra

    Jenumbra SF Supporter

    Thanks for the support and encouragement. :)
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum, it is lovely to meet you and I hope you find this website and community helps you feel better, I am Lynn, it's nice to ''meet'' you :)
    I am also on lexapro among other meds, I think it's a great drug. Best of luck to you :)
    Jenumbra likes this.
  8. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hey Jen, welcome to SF! Glad you like it here :) Keep us updated on how things go with appointment and new meds.
    Jenumbra likes this.
  9. Jenumbra

    Jenumbra SF Supporter

    A belated update, thanks to everyone's encouragement I promptly followed up with my psychiatrist and have been on duloxetine (brand name Cymbalta) for the last 6 weeks. It's greatly helped with my anxiety but unfortunately not my depression yet. I saw my doc today, we're going to try increasing to 80 mg and trying a prescription multivitamin to see if things improve, and maybe try fishoil. I've been really unmotivated, just did not care, wore the same clothes, didn't shower for 2 weeks till today (gross, I know), not eating enough, didn't leave the apartment at all, just in bed on the internet, reading and watching movies. Today was good, hope I can make tomorrow good too. Thanks all, best of luck to everyone.

    sahel, Petal and ThePhantomLady like this.
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Just want you to know someone cares. *hug* I hope you're able to make those follow-up appointments and get on some meds. I know it's not an easy step to take, but definitely worth it to try and help you feel better.
    Jenumbra likes this.
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hiyas, I can definitely relate to just waning to lie in bed and not shower because hey what are we doing this for? I know that feeling all too well. I hope you get some relief from your depression soon, glad the anxiety levels have improved, you are a survivor and still here fighting this, I am proud of you :) Thanks for keeping us updated, you're doing brilliantly!! Good luck :)
    sahel and Jenumbra like this.
  12. sahel

    sahel SF Supporter

    I can related to not wanting to do anything, for me, whenever I manage to get over the inertia and do something, I feel better for three to four things: first the actual chore being done. second, I don't have it in back of my mind as a constant thing that I should do but ignore, third, for over coming to the inertia, and sometimes, I feel so good about over coming the inertia that I treat myself with some food, etc. Seeing in this perspective helps me to overcome my inertia.

    Hope you are doing well and new prescriptions are working. We all care here, take good care of yourself:)
    Jenumbra likes this.
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