Im 30 from the uk , Im an ex self harmer , ex "hobby drinker" ...in fact most of the other things i am are prefix with ex lol. I've spent much of my life depressed , recently I found I fulfill a lot of the diagnosis requirements for aspergers - although this doesnt help me it did make me feel better to know why I feel so isolated often. For most of my late teens/twenties Ive used booze and drugs to assist my social ineptitude as it was easier to go places with my close friends and cope if I was wasted all the time. Now Ive stopped this kind of lifestyle I've retreated back into myself for defense and because it makes me feel better but the spectre of depression is there all the time now. My relationships (the few of them I've had) have always been with people like me and have always ended badly making me feel even worse, my job whilst good is something I feel a waste of time and If I could I would do nothing....if it wasnt for my family being close I wouldnt even be here anymore. Ive a few friends on the internet to talk to but I always feel isolated and have trouble sharing my feelings with people I even vaguely know and cant discuss my suicidal feelings with anyone close to me because all I ever get is "snap out of it" or some other such bullshit . Or told to get out more and meet people when I can barely understand "normals"tm or any of the things people put so much value in. Still I have my geekery ... my computers unlike everything else very rarely give me any shit so I spend most of my time with them , or painting or learning harmonica and trying not to think about bad things. Anyway look forward to talking to you all ... Ima shut up now.