Discussion in 'Welcome' started by stokelad19, Mar 12, 2007.

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  1. stokelad19

    stokelad19 New Member

    Well here it goes

    My name is Aaron and over the past couple of days I've had the urge to overdose or Hang myself. I've been crying for the past 2 days which is a first as i haven't cried in about 12 years.

    Hes my story.

    As I've completely fucked my life up to the point where i have no friends
    due to the fact that I've realise that I'm always there for my friends helping them with all there problems even lending money to them when they are low on cash and need to pay the rent etc etc.

    The fact that i didn't have that many friends to begin with as i was constantly bullied at school. Got beaten up nearly every day by gangs of lads.

    And when i need them for once in my life it like cant help you there oh you need to talk well I've got my own problems. And they wonder why i have a drinking problem maybe thats another reason why I've got no friends they all turn there back on me.

    No girl friend as I'm really a ugly person with a great personality who cares for people more than myself. But who goes for personalities when i look like this. Except for the last girl friend i had who i used to work with it was going great well thats what i thought then i got completely fucked over because she was sleeping with basically every single bloke who chated her up at work.

    Family think I'm a prick and that I'm a selfish bastard but I've ask for nothing in my life but just for once for someone to say your an okay guy or finally have friends who want to be with me and care for me.

    Also the fact that i lost my best friend on Friday night all due to the fact that he is really good friends with my ex and the fact i got really drunk and called her a whore which I'm a fucking idiot for doing it.

    Made me loose that friend who i will never get back and it's killing me just thinking about it. I just could not forget the past I'm such a horrible person and a prick.

    But then i have a guilty feeling in side of me because my aunt is suffering from stomach cancer and all she wants to do is live and heres me wanting to die makes me more upset.

    I just wanted to post this as I have no one to talk too and i just wanted to get a few things of my chest.
  2. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Aaron & welcome to SF. It seems like things haven't been good for you for quite some time, I'm glad you have found SF & that you have been able to tell us about what you are going through.
    Crying although emotionally draining is no bad thing, it helps release all those pent up feelings & emotions.
    It seems to me like you are a really nice guy, you help your friends out, emotionally and financially, you are concerned about your aunt.
    Have you considered seeing your doctor and telling him how bad you are feeling?
    Help is available and we at SF are here to support you, look forward to seeing you around.

    Take care Hazel
  3. stokelad19

    stokelad19 New Member

    Yeah things haven't been going right for me for the past 6 months I've just had enough really.

    thanks for the welcome though

    i have thought about going to see a doctor but i don't want them to think I'm crazy and get locked up. I no what those places do to people and its not nice.
  4. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I've had some pretty bizarre symptoms and haven't been locked up yet, truth is unless it's blatantly obvious you're going to seriously harm yourself or others they won't lock you up. Best contact your gp and see what he can refer you to, he might be able to help in the short term with something aswell but seeing your gp is the best first step you can take right now.
  5. stokelad19

    stokelad19 New Member

    Anyways thanks for your help I'll make an appointment with my gp and see where it goes from there it couldn't do me any harm.
  6. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    Hiya, Aaron!

    Nice to meet ya!

    Around here, I'm known as Syiah or Eva...whichever one... :D

    Fate appears to have dealt you a pretty rough hand, I see...Hang in there!

    If you ever need anybody to talk to, feel free to drop me a PM! (Or IM on MSN or AIM or something) :D

    Hope to catch you on chat sometime soon!

  7. Jodi

    Jodi Staff Alumni

  8. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hello and welcome to SF.

    Hope to see you around.

    Take care.

  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF Aaron. You do seem like a nice person in your willingness to help others out. sometimes this leads us to be walked on, which is not a good thing. Why people take advantage of those showing kindness is beyond me, but that is sometimes how the world works. i am sorry to hear that the last 6 months have been so extremely difficult for you. I am glad to see you are willing to seek out help should you need it. I hope you are able to saty safe until that happens or things take a turn for the better. we are here to offer you support should you need it. Take care Aaron. :hug:
  10. stokelad19

    stokelad19 New Member

    Again thanks for welcoming me. I hope I'm still hear for a while.

    got very angry last night though for what i did on Friday night and head butted the wall about 5 times and knocked myself unconscious for about 5 hours. Stupid thing to do as as I've got a really banging headache now. Which will only lead me to take pills to kill the pain
  11. GhostOfYou

    GhostOfYou Well-Known Member

    Hey Aaron, welcome to SF. Glad you have you with us :)
    I'm sorry to hear you're going through all this :( Life is a long road with many twists and turns and well...I just wanted to say that if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll be there for you.
    Take care and good luck with your appoinment. See you around :)

  12. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni


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