Hi

[Michael Lee]

Hi,
Just thought I would try this. I have been struggling with sucidal thoughts for most of my life. The last year has been really difficult. I am having a hard time typing. I am married have three kids: 22,18 and 2. Have a good job. Should be happy but I'm not. Fell in love 32 years ago but it didn't work out. Can't see myself continuing to live without her. Mary was my life. Everyday I think of her. I can still smell her hair, remember the warmth of her eyes, even the sound of her voice. When I was with her I was alive. I don't want to go on. I'm too old and too tired. My life is meaningless.

 

[~CazzaAngel~]

Welcome to the forum. I hope that you get the support you are looking for. If you'd ever would like to talk, my PM box is always open to you. Hang in there. If you ever need anything just let me know. :hug:

 

[gentlelady]

I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling the best right now. What happened to Mary? Is she your current wife? I get the impression she is not. There is quite an age difference between your oldest and your youngest. It must be difficult to have to start over so to speak. I cannot imagin doing that. I hope you are able to find some support here Michael. It can make all the difference in the world. :hug:

 

[Flow]

Welcome Michael.

Oops, I'm weird... I'm new here myself (even newer than you ;p) but then I'm welcoming other people lol

 

[Marshmallow]

Welcome to the forum :smile:

I hope you find the support your looking for here

:hug:

 

[gentlelady]

I wondered how you were feeling today Michael. I hope maybe a little better. Your children need their daddy. I lost mine, and I miss him a great deal. Please take care. :hug:

 

[Michael Lee]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my mom 38 years ago April 1st. Whoever said time heals all wounds missed the boat. I guess the hard part for me is feeling like my life is over, That I will always be alone and never feel whole again. Thanks for your reply. I had one shot at happiness and somehow missed it. That's life. Was on call this past week. I work partime as a chaplain. Saw four babies make into the world. No one died. A good week. Still I hate being lonely. Grace and peace

 

[gentlelady]

You are right Michael. I have found that no time does not heal all wounds. We learn to deal with them in different ways. The hurt may subside, but it never goes away. At least in my opinion. Your life is not over by a long shot. It may not be what you dreamed it would be, but you do have things to stick around for. Try to concentrate on the positives in your life. I am sorry you feel lonely. I wish things would have been what you wanted with Mary, but you can't be certain that it would have even been what you feel you missed out on. I did marry my high school sweetheart. I thought life would be so wonderful. I could not have been more wrong. Not all things are a given. We must learn to make the most of what we have and not pine for what we have not. Please stay safe Michael. :hug:

 

[Beret]

:welcome: hun
Hope you feel better soon