Hi, Just thought I would try this. I have been struggling with sucidal thoughts for most of my life. The last year has been really difficult. I am having a hard time typing. I am married have three kids: 22,18 and 2. Have a good job. Should be happy but I'm not. Fell in love 32 years ago but it didn't work out. Can't see myself continuing to live without her. Mary was my life. Everyday I think of her. I can still smell her hair, remember the warmth of her eyes, even the sound of her voice. When I was with her I was alive. I don't want to go on. I'm too old and too tired. My life is meaningless.