Hi

[LoboTox]

I'm 23 (man) and I want to die. My main problem is that I'm unable to have intimate relationships with people, and by relationship I don't mean only the romantic kind. I can't be intimate with friends or family. Most of the time I feel like I'm trapped in a cage that doesn't let me close to others. I run away anytime that a situation mighr develop in some kind of intimacy. Because of this I'm still virgin and this is a big deal for me because I had plenty of occasions to get laid, but my personality always ruins everything. When it comes to sex I have a literal block. Even just spelling the word 'sex' makes me feel uncomfortable. And I'm sick of this, I don't want to be like this. Honestly I hope not to reach 24 years of age.
Besides this my life has almost no positive aspects. I work 10 hours a day for 5 days a week and this means that I haven't any time to do the things that I like. And despite the work I'm always without money.
I used to try a lot. I used to go out almost everyday, meet new people etc. But now it's been 1 year that I completely isolated myself. I don't go out anymore, I don't speak to my friends or family. I feel like, step by step, I'm trying to reach my new goal that is suicide.
Thank you for reading

 

[sinking_ship]

Hi, welcome to SF. It's hard to be truly intimate with people. It can be scary to let them in. But it's a thing you can work on with time. You are young. Things can change for you.

 

[Walker]

Hello and welcome to SF. We're glad you're here to talk with us tonight. I can't quite place where you're from. I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad lately. Has it been this way for a long time? You said you've been isolated now for a year so it's been at least that long. Does anyone know you're feeling this bad?

 

[Rasmus]

Hello, LoboTox. Don't be too hard on yourself, the problem of intimate with people is something you can overcome, you just need some help.

 

[LoboTox]

Hello and welcome to SF. We're glad you're here to talk with us tonight. I can't quite place where you're from. I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad lately. Has it been this way for a long time? You said you've been isolated now for a year so it's been at least that long. Does anyone know you're feeling this bad?

Hi I'm writing from the UK. In the last year Im isolating physically, but I've been emotionally isolated pretty much all my life. I don't even know how it should feel to be intimate. My friends jokingly say that I'm a robot because I've never show my feelings I never even change my facial expression

 

[Walker]

My friends jokingly say that I'm a robot because I've never show my feelings

I feel like a lot of people here come to SF saying something similar to this so you're not alone

 

[JDot]

Relating with other people can be pretty hard. You'll always have a place here at SF to express your feelings. We're here to listen.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're going through this

Most of the time I feel like I'm trapped in a cage that doesn't let me close to others

I bet therapy would be a good thing for you to try. Maybe you can learn to related to people in a different way.

I hope things can get better soon

 

[LoboTox]

Sorry that you're going through this

I bet therapy would be a good thing for you to try. Maybe you can learn to related to people in a different way.

I hope things can get better soon

I'm trying to get therapy but the first attempt didn't go well. They discharged me because I said that I smoke weed.

 

[may71]

They discharged me because I said that I smoke weed

I didn't know that was cause to refuse someone treatment in the UK. I don't think it's right that they do that.

 

[LoboTox]

I didn't know that was cause to refuse someone treatment in the UK. I don't think it's right that they do that.

Well that wasn't the official reason, but they said that the therapy wouldn't work for me

 

[may71]

What was the official reason that they thought therapy wouldn't work?

 

[LoboTox]

This was a service that offered CBT to treat general anxiety, the therapist said that weed can alter your perception in social situations and make the anxiety worse (thing that I knew already). So they couldn't offer me the therapy unless I stopped smoking weed because it wouldn't work.
Besides that, I don't think anxiety is my real problem because even when I was able to overcome anxiety I still felt uncomfortable with physical intimacy.

 

[Rasmus]

I'm trying to get therapy but the first attempt didn't go well. They discharged me because I said that I smoke weed.

Bullshit

 

[kittykatt]

So why not stop smoking weed and then get the therapy?

As far as physical intimacy goes, I think that you just haven't found the right person. I think that when you find the right person all of your anxiety will vanish. Especially if the time and circumstances are right.

 

[Tana]

Hey, sorry you feel that way.
You're welcome here, and will hopefully feel less alone.

Have some guy friends on discord, and found out from them it's pretty tough for guys if they don't do it with another person, emotionally, and otherwise (females tend to be more...comfortable, in that regard. Which may also be part of the issue).

Sorry if this is a dumb one but gonna suggest it anyway; Tried tinder?
My apologies if I interpreted that part where you said even the word makes you uncomfortable wrong.

 

[Tana]

Oh, please, please stop smoking weed if you have anxiety or other mental health issues.
It has the potential to seriously worsen your condition, or interfere with the medicine.

 

[LoboTox]

So why not stop smoking weed and then get the therapy?

As far as physical intimacy goes, I think that you just haven't found the right person. I think that when you find the right person all of your anxiety will vanish. Especially if the time and circumstances are right.

Unfortunately it's not that easy. I had found the right person that mad my anxiety go away but I still was blocked sexually.
And my actions made that person go away

 

[LoboTox]

Hey, sorry you feel that way.
You're welcome here, and will hopefully feel less alone.

Have some guy friends on discord, and found out from them it's pretty tough for guys if they don't do it with another person, emotionally, and otherwise (females tend to be more...comfortable, in that regard. Which may also be part of the issue).

Sorry if this is a dumb one but gonna suggest it anyway; Tried tinder?
My apologies if I interpreted that part where you said even the word makes you uncomfortable wrong.

I've never been able to talk about sex and girl not even with my male friends.

I haven't tried tinder because that would require having to take picture of myself and I don't like it.

 

[Tana]

I've never been able to talk about sex and girl not even with my male friends.

I haven't tried tinder because that would require having to take picture of myself and I don't like it.

Yeah, I don't think it's something people discuss in real life (guys amongst each other, even less so).
Hm...how about a more "slow-paced" dating site? Could also work to your advantage, аs you could take some time to meet them first trough text etc.
I mean sure, you'll have to share your picture eventually (to lessen paranoia at least), but can do it privately with someone you're cosy with.