i started posting before introducing myself. sorry. i'm a student in edinburgh. i live there during term and somewhere else the rest of the time. i have been feeling kinda unhappy since coming here but it's not homesickness. i've coped really badly on my own and i've told some really big lies that i'm so scared are gonna come back to haunt me. also i've lost contact with almost all my old friends and when we do meet we just seem so different now. i never had a girlfriend or even a really close friend i could really talk to and it makes me feel kinda lonely. i think i could be a really beautiful person but everyday i wake up saying 'ok i'm gonna be that person' i do something to fuck it all up. if that makes sense? and i tell myself that i just wasn't made for this world. we don't work the same way.