Good morning. I care about you; I am sorry you feel lonely. This is a good place to vent, to let it all out. I hope you stick around and that we hear more about your struggles. Sharing with other people who can identify with you usually makes a person feel better.
I honestly don't know how to say it, or maybe I do but don't have the energy to go into detail.
the thing about them saying "you have people that love you" is that they don't really mean it, they say it, but just so I feel better. their actions contradict their words and each time someone says "you have people that love you, I love you" it just doesn't help me at all. I don't trust anyone and I feel like they say it more to themselves than to me.
I'm sorry you've had this experience in the past Moses. Every person is prone to making mistakes, however there are kind and caring people out there who won't hurt you. I don't think the best idea to "harden" our heart or let it harden itself. You can always talk about your experience more here if you want. Sending hugs .