Dear Mary, I thought I would write again even though I know you will never respond . . . will never know what I am thinking. Each night when I go to sleep I think about you and pretend that I am holding you in my arms. It gives me a sense of peace. But during the day time reality sets in. I begin to realize that my dreams are simply an illusion. That I am lonely and that is my lot in life. I have tried to bring closure to things several times. Have had the plan in place for years. When I have enough energy to get things in order; I don' t either don't fell bad enough or don't have the funds. And when I am so down I can't look up I don't have the energy. Kind of like a hamster on a wheel in its cage. I am not really human anymore. Of all the things I lost when I lost you . . . I lost my humanity. Well enough of my venting. That is all it is venting. I think about you and your family daily. I pray for youall hoping that things will go easy for your dad and mom. More than anything in the world I hope that you are happy. That God and life have blessed you. Love always, Michael P.S. The last time I went to a concert it was with you. I think we saw Jose' Feliciano. Remember when we saw Fleetwood Mac. What a party. Damn I wish we were young again. I wish we could have had a second chance at life. Loosing you was my failure and I will never be able to look beyond it.