I dont know what it is about me but I've read about this so called "Manic Depression or "Bi-polar" and it may explain alot but doesn't bring me comfort and makes things worse. I'm unattractive, no longer smart atall, I regret doing things everyday of my life, I cant find "Love" or real friends, I have insomnia, I only feel happy when I've drank a ton of alcohol or thinking about ending a life of fucking things up... the only thing keeping me alive is thinking about my Mum and how this will affect her... I can list a 1000 more things but it pisses me off writing it. Basically I see no point in living, I do not believe in any religion and I wish I never existed, live, work, die is all there is and its something I do not want to do. I'm just trying to find a reason to live a little longer.