Hi i'm new to this message bord. I am in desperate need of new friends and socialising again. I don't know what to do. I'm seriously not enjoying my 20's. I'm 25 from the Uk and i still live at home and i haven't socialised in well over a year. I relly miss going out and doing all the normal things that people my age do. I've also never had a bf and that really gets me down. Whenever i see people i use to go school with they all seem to be settling down with partners and kids etc. My grandma passed away 6 months ago and the people i thought were my friends really haven't been there for me when i needed the support the most. I know alot of people find it hard to deal with expecially if they haven't experience loosing someone close. But i have always been a good friend (atleast i think so) and have always supported my 'so-called' friends when they have had problems. I know people will say to contact them etc but why should i shouldn't it be the other way round? The last 6 months i can't tell if i am living in a really long dream or what is reality. I have battled with depression on and of the last 6 years. I have good days and bad days but at the moment i think its a mixture of depresion and greiving. I don't want to go on living like this as i just don't think its healthy not to have any close friends. I live in a small town and it's definetly not the easiest place to meet new people. I joined my local gym in hope of meeting people but everyone seems to be in their own world which is understandable. I even joined one of my local weightwatchers meetings but everyone was older than me. I admit that i don't have any self confidence and i am really overweight but i have really been working hard on loosing weight (i've lost 23lbs so far) and working on my self confidence. I really am sick of my own company. I'm not a bad person at all i'm kind, caring and friendly. But maybe i'm not a likeable person if people don't want to be my friend. Sometimes i do wonder what it would be like to end it all, atleast people won't miss me seen as they don't now.