hi. my first time ever posting in a forum. i apologize if i'm doing something wrong. how do i introduce myself? i am 19 years old. its been almost a year since my last suicide attempt. and i still dont know if i want to live. if i live, am i living for myself or for others? is living for others...could that be called a life at all? i still want to die. that feeling has not disappeared. and talking to friends has become pointless. i only feel more lost, judged, and misunderstood afterward. so...i guess thats why i finally searched for this forum. after my suicide attempt, my friends, the ones that called 911, the ones that know about it. they dont really mention it. i think having my friends gloss over it makes me even more ashamed and embarrassed for living through it. i have friends but no one to talk to. i dont want to bother their lives with my mental and emotional burdens, b/c what will they achieve? in the end, they will go on with their lives and i will feel emptier. i know its a selfish request, but is there a place where i can just post my story? not a suicide letter, just my story. i know that people have certainly worse experiences than me, by 1000 fold. but maybe someone can take some meaning from mine.