Hi, Growing up ive always felt abandoned by my parents who would ignore me. I have gone through many sets of friends who just use me for various things. Every single person i have ever met has treated me like shit. I hate so many people and everything. People constantly blow me off and fuck me over. I feel so alone and everything i do is a failure. I am struggling in my first year of university. I have thought about killing myself often but i am now conceiving ways of doing it in my mind. Everyday is jsut more failure, neglect, and an ever increasing feeling of aloneness. We all die some day why shouldnt i just skip all of the pain and suffering. I have gone to councelling for depression but failed as well.