Hi I found this group today after thinking I was alone in this world and the only one who thought harming themselves was normal. Its really normal to me, I do it everyday. I have been harming myself since I was 15 usually then it was because of school, fights with parents or being stressed. Never actually cutting, just hitting and pulling hair. I had been really good only did it once or twice a month for so long. Then graduation came and it got worse, I moved away from home and was working full time. During the time of my life were I was supposed to be happy and excited I was nervous and scared. It got worse and the actual cutting started. It seemed to help so much, all that bottled up emotions was seeping out and I felt so much better. Then again things got better and I went months without even thinking of hurting myself. I had kids, and meet a wonderful man (who has no clue I do this.) Things were looking better, then the stress started from working and trying to keep my kids happy and the home clean. I started again but only a few times a week, so it still wasnt as bad as before. Now its the worse I have ever seen it, my brother committed suicide in April and I am beyond myself. I am so angry and sad and so many other emotions that I dont even know there are. I started to hurt myself again, I mean like 2/3 times a day. I tell myself that I will only do it once and then it turns into 4/5 times on my arm. I think it will make me happy and I wont be in pain again, but I know it will only last awhile. So thats me in a nutshell.