Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Theory, Oct 2, 2008.

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  1. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    Hey, hmm, I’m theory, usually people just call me John, and I’m here cause I just can’t take it anymore. I’m diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I’m a cutter, pretty much used to be last year, and didn’t cut all since last may started again two weeks ago. I’ve basically got no friends cause I jump between love and hate all the time. My mother let me down, my asshole of a father lets me down, my old friends in Québec left me alone to suffer and my ex-girlfriend lives 300 km from me now so she let me down.

    Last year I was forced to see a stupid psychiatrist (sorry but she was basically stupid). Father said I had a problem that I was going crazy, insane, guess they’re right. He even threatened me to put duck tape all around my arm so that i'd stop cutting. He doesnt freaking care about me, i'm just like he's jasskass slave! I tried singing in a rock band, just yesterday I was kicked off from my jerk of a father. The psychiatrist made me talk constantly and I didn’t like that at all so I’d cut deeper and I attempted three suicides last year, failed, that sucks…

    I write songs (in words), short stories, I’m trying to write two novels atm, but I guess I suck at it. I used to love doing graphic designs, singing, writing, reading, biking on my bicycle. Now I’m not even allowed to leave my yard. I’m 16 gonna be 17 in one week if I’m not dead by then and I’ve got no fucking job cause of this pissoff family. I don’t even have a learners to drive. No one loves me, everyone hates me to hell. I hate myself. I think I’m freaking crazy, I hurt myself cause I merit it, I don’t merit to live. I’m living a nightmare and no one wants to help me nor listen to me and I’m sick of being the one controlled I’m sick of not standing up for myself. Sometimes I just wanna scream my lungs out but I can’t cause theirs no voice left inside. I cry constantly, I try not to in front of others cause I’m a guy and it’d make me ashamed.

    I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I didn’t say everything in this presentation. Maybe I will some other time. It doesn’t make any freaking sense. Sorry…
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi there and welcome to the forum

    I'm really sorry that things are so difficult for you and that you feel like no one cares or wants to hear how you're feeling. I just wanted to let you know that you have a voice here and we will hear you. I hope you're able to find support and friendship here. We also have a subforum for poetry and one for short stories, so if you want and if it'd help maybe you could post some of your stuff there too?

    Jenny x
  3. Victori@

    Victori@ Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the Forums!! Im here if you ever want to chat... Don't let peole get you down!! They are only people!!! Stay strong and let us know how you are doing!!


  4. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    thank you...:mellow:
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum Theory. i am hard you are having such a rough time of things. Maybe you can find some relief here with us.
  6. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    thank you gentlelady:smile:
  7. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum, im here if ya need to talk :hug:
  8. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    okay! thank you, ill take that in note, same thing for you if you wish to talk, just om me plz!:smile:
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    :) Welcome to SF! Kewl name *Theory* - intrinsically clever and thoughtful.
  10. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome to SF :)
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :hug:
  12. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    a warm welcome to the forum hugs :smile:
  13. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    hope u get some support here , u will be welcome here :hug:
  14. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Hi Theory

    Welcome to SF. I am hoping you find the support you need here. :hug:
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