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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by MonSTAR, Dec 16, 2008.

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  1. MonSTAR

    MonSTAR New Member

    I joined a few months back during a crisis, I'm almost grateful that I was unable to post that night. What would have followed would have been drunken ramblings about various methods I was contemplating.

    I was diagnosed Manic (I'm told that pdoc's just call it BP now) when I was 13, had suicidal thoughts before that. What's strange to me, is I have no events or issues at the core of my problems; no history of abuse, no traumatic childhood experiences. Yet without fail, every day I wake up there will be some event(s), trigger(s), etc. that will send me spiraling back into suicidal thoughts, planning, and yes, sometimes, attempts. Over that last year and half things have gotten worse. What used to be a minor episode can now seem like an insurmountable crisis. I assume that this is in great part due to many aspects of my life falling apart in the past 2+ years, due to my negligence/lack of care/self-hate/current economic woes. Most of the time I just wish I could get past the giving-up...and just allow this failure that has become my life to take its course. I could go on and on, but I'm having the hardest time to even put these words on the screen.

    I hope my involvement here will be give-and-take... Oh, right, Hi.
  2. Victori@

    Victori@ Well-Known Member

    hey!! glad your back!! Im here if you ever wanna chat about anything... I was writing a comment as to what you wrote but my words just aren't comming out right!!! cheers!!!

  3. mourningseraph

    mourningseraph Well-Known Member

    Hi MonSTAR!! :biggrin: Welcome!!
  4. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    welcome to the forum

    i hope you will find the help and support you need here with us
  5. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hi and Welcome to the forum MonSTAR.
    Hope you'll find the support you need. :hug:
  6. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.
  7. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    welcome back :smile: i am sure you'll find all the help and support you need here, we're a friendly bunch :hug:
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF :)
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome to the forum. Glad to see you posting and asking for a little support. :hug:
  11. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Dont worry about your words not coming out right, most of us just rant a load of nonsense half the time. :hug: and :welcome: i hope your stay is a good one, and dont be scared to come in and say hi in chat :hug:
  12. MonSTAR

    MonSTAR New Member

    Thanks all for the welcome... And, yeah I will probably have a difficult time expressing exactly where my heads at, but all I can do is try, right?
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