Discussion in 'Welcome' started by intothewild, Mar 12, 2009.

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  1. intothewild

    intothewild Member


    I can't believe it has come to me posting on here but I don't see the point in anything right now.

    I'm 21. Never had a job. Never had a girlfriend. Pushed away most of my friends over the years and I'm now left with hardly anyone. Told my dad I never wanted to see him again a few weeks ago as well.

    I'm at university and this is meant to be my final year but I've had to quit and I'm starting the final year again in September. Felt so awful this year that I literally couldn't do the work (was basically having panic attacks at one stage over some meaningless uni work-first time that had ever happened to me to that extent).

    I feel so unequipped to face up to the challenges in my life that I could easily just end everything now. I wouldn't even have the guts to kill myself though so that won't happen either.

    So here I am just with all the self-pity even though I've caused all of this. I'm totally alone in the world now. I've done nothing in my life and basically feel worthless.

    Also, the worst thing is that nothing serious has happened to me to cause me to feel like this. I don't even have a proper reason for feeling so bad.

    Now I'm fast running out of money and my only option is to get a job. I'll be honest and be pathetic as usual and say that I'm scared of attempting to get one because I've got absolutely no experience and I have no idea how to explain that to employers. Also, I feel so bad about myself that I hate the idea of having to work with the public in any job.

    I went to counselling for a few weeks at uni. It helped massively. After each session I'd feel great but that would wear off gradually. I went every week but stopped a couple of weeks ago because I was feeling great for a short while and it felt like it had reached a stage where I had to go it alone and the counsellor had done all that they could do. Reality has sunk in again now though.

    To be honest-all I want is a girl in my life. Just someone to be with and then I'd feel like I could move on from all of this but I don't even attempt to ask anyone out because I don't think anyone would want me.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum.
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    welcome to s.f.

    i hope you find support here - pm if you want to talk. . .:console:
  4. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    hope u find help here....

    looks like u feel lonely, and have low self steem

    about this "all I want is a girl in my life. Just someone to be with and then I'd feel like I could move on from all of this"

    let me tell u that thats very wrong from my point of view, dont think that ull be happy with a girlfriend if ur not happy now. to love someone and be happy first u must be happy with your self and by self confident, thats what u got to work on. also what i always say is....dont try to put all ur feelings in one person and try to find "the love of ur life the one that will make me happy"....just date girls to have a good time and thats it...nothing more

    just my advice hope it helps
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum. Hope you can find as much help and support from here as I have. I don't think anyone expected to end up here but I know personally how glad I am to have found the place. Best wishes, S.
  6. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    welcome x
  7. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.

  8. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Welcome to SF
  9. intothewild

    intothewild Member

    I know what you are saying and I am sure that it is right.

    The problem is that it is like a cycle of feelings which has gone on for a while now. I want to go out with someone but don't. It starts off as just wanting to date someone but then because that never happens I start to feel low. Then because I've felt low for so long I end up feeling lonely. That loneliness makes me want someone even more and because of that I end up wanting someone to love instantly. But because I'm feeling so low about myself I don't ask someone out.

    I think I've managed to convince myself that I won't end up going out with anyone. I've not even been rejected by people I've just not asked them out. There's still that fear I have though that no-one will say yes. Now though it isn't a simple case of me asking a girl out and she might say yes/no. It has built up for so many years that it has turned into a massive thing which means I have no idea how I would take a rejection.
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forum!!
  11. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    Welcome to SF...
  12. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    hi and a warm welcome to SF:smile:
  13. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    It's always that lack of self-esteem that holds us back - I can't do this, I can't get a girlfriend, I can't get a job - It's really holding you back. If you can fix that, you can fix anything. Weather or not you find one, that's yet to be determined, you just need to work harder in trusting yourself.
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf :)
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