Hi all. When I ask myself what I want for my future, a huge part of me just wants to die. I'm not even sure how or what to talk about here, while I am a big forum user, I'm not sure how to proceed on here. I've rarely talked about these kind of thoughts so I'm a little shy and uncertain how to proceed. I do know that having this kind of feeling is majorly demotivating me and if I don't do something to improve feeling this way, I may end up in a situation where the pain may be too intense for me to accept. Right now, I'm not in pain at all, so things are ok for now, but I may be in a lot of pain in a few weeks if I don't take action to keep things going financially (that is I may flunk out of school and lose ability to get school loan and end up having nowhere to live...etc.). I guess I'm concerned that I might actually end up doing something to myself you know in the next couple of months if I don't take care of these feelings now. I have been very close to killing myself in the past. Any suggestions?