Hi everybody, My name is Matt. I'm 23 years old and live in Ohio. My life is pretty boring these days, I have friends, But i rarely see them. My Mom is the best Mom in the world and i love her to death. I also have a Brother, who is my best friend. We have our squabbles, but i love him to death as well. I've decided to join this forum as a reason of coping with my thoughts lately. It pretty much started when i got laid off from my job on my Birthday in Novemeber. It's been really hard finding a new job and i got denied unemployment, So i have to rely on my Mom for support, Which at my age is pretty pathetic. I'm also a pretty big guy, although i am going to a weight doctor and have lost 50 pounds since October. That is the only thing im really proud of these days. The suicide thoughts never really got a point of actually acting out on them until my Brother got a GF. I'm a virgin, and never really had a actual GF. I have alot of girl friends, but that's really all they see me as. I know it's probably stupid to consider suicide just because i havent had sex yet, But i feel at my age, I should have already. Which is why im trying to lose weight so i at least look a LITTLE attractive. And i guess i still have bad thoughts about 2008, thats when my dog who i had for 17 years, my Grandma, And my Father all passed away within a 3 month period. The thought's have gotten worse since my bro has had a GF, because that's what i want in my life. I want to support her and give her anything she wants and needs. But with no job and no money, that's pretty hard to do. So i'm joining this site to get some advice and also help people if they think there going to act on there own thoughts. I hope to make some friends on this board, so i'll be strolling by here often. Thanks for reading.