Hi, I'm new here, and don't know where else to post this. For these past couple weeks, or months, I'm not sure which, I have been consistently aware of the option of suicide. I have also been aware that this tendency is very much encouraged by my antisocial nature. The main problem for me, as far as I've been able to figure out, is the problem of my need for human contact, even when I feel that the connection made is artificial. Because I want to socialize purely for my mental health, and not because I feel any real connection with these people, I see myself as someone who uses others, which is an unsavory characteristic. There are a small number of people, besides my family, who I feel this connection with, but they are usually at least five to ten years older than me, and I find it egotistical of myself that I cannot dane to socialize with my own age group. Who do I think I am? Also, when I've found these connections in the past, at least romantically, I have broken the ties because of the emotional and mental weight that comes with them. This also does not help my view of myself. I expect others to carry this weight, however positive, but I am relieved of this duty? So many of my values and needs seem to conflict with my own actions towards others, and I see no obvious way of remedying them, and I realize that suicide doesn't solve it either. I have really been trying to resolve all of this, through medication and talk therapy, but the thought visits me on a daily basis. I'm somewhat determined to not "become a statistic" (as I keep telling myself), but I'm worried that the thoughts won't stop until they've worn through my shell. Advice, analysis, similar experiences?