Hello... new user here. I'm not doing all that well. I saw a doc about it. He said I don't need to be hospitalized because I'm not making plans and don't have weapons or drugs or pills lying around. I'm more numb than sad and wake up nearly everyday not so happy to be here. He said I have a major depressive disorder, along with a schizoid personality disorder. You could basically interpret that as being a very extremely withdrawn loner. I've removed everyone from my life except for one, which I keep at a distance from most of the thoughts in my life. I'm alone, but not lonely. Its not a healthy way to be, but its my comfort zone. Letting people in my life is painful in the way that others seem to feel when they are all alone. It would seem I need to open up and let people in my life to get better and find any path to healing, but thats the catch 22. I want to be left alone.