Hi, I don't really know what to write here. I'll keep it brief. I don't feel great. Ever since my mid-teens I've suffered from various anxiety disorders. I've bottled up my feelings and tried to maintain the facade of being a regular functioning human, although it's difficult. I once attempted to explain my feelings to my parents, but they didn't understand and just yelled at me so we just swept it under the rug, never mentioned it again. I'm 24 and an only child. I have a University degree (which I had no interest in) and work for a reputable company. However, my job (which I've been in for 9 months now) is very stressful and only provokes and heightens my feelings of anxiety. I'd love to quit, but being an only child I'm also under a lot of pressure from my parents who don't want to see me waste my opportunities. They were very overprotective of me when growing up, and continue to be. I feel like I'm constantly living with their shadow looming over me. I don't even know who I am anymore. I've just blindly followed their suggestions all my life, partly because I feel that I owe them and partly because I'm unable to assert myself. On the few occasions I do I'm met with aggression. Anyway I screwed up at work recently. A major error brought on due to my anxiety. If I get away with it then I'm going to continue to be trapped in a job I despise, if I get fired then my parents will murder me. I just don't get enjoyment out of anything anymore. I used to write music, short stories and learn languages but I'm too anxious and stressed to enjoy these thigns anymore. I just get by, trying to survive each day, hoping that the morning never comes. I've considered ending it all with alarming regularity, but it will probably upset a few people, which holds me back. Besides, my preferred method would be to shoot myself in the head, but guns are hard to come by in England. I also often consider quickly packing my stuff into a suitcase and fleeing to another country without saying a word to anyone, so I can try and make a fresh start where nobody knows who I am. Sorry, this post was muddled and incoherent, much like my thoughts are. Sorry if it didn't make much sense. Hello, how are you.