hi my name is shannon and i am a single father of two kids and this is the first time ive told anybody about whats in my head. im 45 years old and in trouble. ive fought these thoughts ny whole life but my dad died two years ago and ive ben slipping further and further into myself each day. i have two beautiful kids who are all that keep me going. i have no friends no family and feel completely invisible?? im sitting here typing and crying .what is wrong with me i cant control the pain anymore and dont know what to do. im disabled, losing my home and cant take care of routne responsibilities anymore. ido the best i can and hide whats in my head from my kids as best as i can but its getting worse. if i ask for help im afraid ill get locked up and lose my kids.