Discussion in 'Welcome' started by sbainehood, Sep 7, 2010.

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  1. sbainehood

    sbainehood New Member

    hi my name is shannon and i am a single father of two kids and this is the first time ive told anybody about whats in my head. im 45 years old and in trouble. ive fought these thoughts ny whole life but my dad died two years ago and ive ben slipping further and further into myself each day. i have two beautiful kids who are all that keep me going. i have no friends no family and feel completely invisible?? im sitting here typing and crying .what is wrong with me i cant control the pain anymore and dont know what to do. im disabled, losing my home and cant take care of routne responsibilities anymore. ido the best i can and hide whats in my head from my kids as best as i can but its getting worse. if i ask for help im afraid ill get locked up and lose my kids.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Welcome to SF. :hug: I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I hope we can help you get through this, and if you ever feel like talking, my PM box is always open.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Have you seen a therapist.. Most of them work on a sliding pay scale..As far as you loosing your home..Go down to social services and find out about section 8 housing..There not going to put you on the streets with you having kids..I hope this helped..
  4. BenVenit

    BenVenit Member


    I am older, too.

    No one can understand what it means to be older, disabled, with kids and no prospects. I understand.

    Section has a wait list----I have been on one for 15 YEARS. Another opened and it was hideous. I would rather be homeless. And I am at risk of homelessness. It is not the end of the world.

    I know that hopelessness. I am here because I have no more hope and no reason for it.

    I can't see a therapist. There are none that take my insurance and I can't afford to pay even $10 because I have no money.

    I understand your situation. You are here because you are painted into a corner by policies that made politicians very rich while keeping you very poor.

    I can only encourage to look at your children, look them RIGHT IN THE EYE. Cry if you have to but feel their trust in you. Feel their soft little heads, no matter if they are 18, 20, 25.........Hold them to your chest and feel their heart beating.

    The powers that placed you were you are are not what this world is about. You love your children. I Love mine, too. The earth still has the same grass, the same sky it will have in peaceful times. The birds do not know about all this crap.

    Try very hard to separate from the reality of what is happening. That is all I can do, too. I have no way out of my situation either. I no longer have the hope of outgrowing it, or finding a stable partner, or making enough money for therapy.....I am disabled, too, forced into a poverty that is mindblowing, just for fundamental health care........not to include psychological!

    I know you are in pain, a pain that is hard to understand. Suicidal thoughts are so hard.......maybe we can find a way through this together as we all fight it one more day.
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