Hi.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by downlikecharliebrown, Mar 7, 2011.

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  1. Hi everyone.

    I'm Eric, I'm 22 years old and live in Philadelphia.

    I just feel significantly overwhelmed lately.

    My job is very high stress for minimal pay. I'm living in an apartment I can't afford, with roommates I can't stand. Funny how you think moving in with your best friends will work out...

    A few weeks ago my Grandmother, age 66, was diagnosed with severe lung cancer that had already spread to her brain. They subsequently found tumors on her ribs and left shoulder. My Grandfather, age 65, is a mechanical genius, a carpenter and mason, and an artist when it comes to crafts. He suffered a stroke last summer and now with the advent of my Grandmother's diagnosis I fear for his survival in the coming months. He has never cooked or cleaned a day in his life, save for microwaving leftovers and cleaning up the sawdust in his shop.

    I'm the oldest of 4, and looked up to as the strength for my siblings. But now I find myself becoming more and more of a bad influence at best, at worst, a joke.

    I'm a borderline alcoholic, I drink about 12 beers a day, not including bourbon, scotch, or any other brown liquor I can find. I smoke cigarettes at the rate of a pack and a half a day (for now).

    On an increasing basis over the past 3 days I've been considering suicide. This is not new for me, I've had my struggles in my teenage years with depression and suicidal thoughts and medications and therapy and whatnot, but I never thought I'd be here again. I was somewhat happy there for a time.

    Anyways, I'm here now.
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Eric, I know how you are feeling.. Both my parents are in poor heaalth.. They have made a pact that if one goes the other will follow.. Luckally they live with my sister and she keeps a close eye on them..I don't think my dad will make out the year.. He can barely move..He doesn't do any kind of therapy..I hope you find solice in the fact that your parents love you..As long as you keep them in your heart then they will live on..
     
  3. Atty

    Atty Member

    Only one person has replied? Now that's all kinds of wrong.

    I dunno what to tell you except; talk. Sometimes that helps more than anything else, even if you're just talking to yourself in a stupid little journal or something. Life keeps on moving, you've just gotta figure a way to jump back onboard after you fell off a long ways ago, just like most people here. It's not easy and that's why we're all here; for company for the ride and help. :)
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Eric, welcome.. I hope you find the site supportive :)
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...it is so true that stress and sadness can wake up the monsters...it is what you do for yourself now that is critical...please get the help and support you need now as these are very difficult times...also, please continue to share with us as there are so many ppl who can relate to what you have written...welcome again and so glad you shared with us...J
     
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