Im kayleigh and let me just say first off, I consider myself to be a fairly good christian. Which brings me to my problem. I have been feeling suicidal since i was in my teens and I'm now 21. but being raised in a church, I have been taught that suicide is wrong and will immediately go to hell for it. My life is already hell, so I guess that wouldn't being helping me much (no pun intended). But, still, I can't help but feel out of place in life in general. I've lived in the same town my whole life and yet, no friends. I just got laid off and have had 0 success in trying to find a new job. And keep in mind, my last job was my FIRST job ever. Minus babysitting when i was young. I don't fit in socially but I also don't fit in in my family. They all have something they are good at, something to live for. I feel like when I am not in the room, they talk about me. I am the fucked-up one. I have no talents, no skills. Everything I try, I fail miserably at. They pity me and I hate it. my so-called friends treat me the same way. there are things I enjoy about life, but it just isn't enough to keep me alive anymore. What do they mean God doesn't make mistakes? Just look at me. I don't really know what kind of response i'm looking for because I am kind of contradicting myself. I'm thinking about doing it in the next three days if I can get the balls to do it.
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Hi
- Thread starter kayleigh31
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You are who you are okay noone is perfect we all have our faults even someone that seems to have it all can get depressed and be suicidal You need to get some therapy to help increase your self esteem maybe get on some meds to help decrease your depression. Jobs are hard to find these days not just for you but for everyone You held a job right so you can hold another job you have proven that already i hope you continue to post here reach out here you family care for you even though they don't know how to show it sometimes hugs
Hi Kayleigh welcome to SF! 
Please keep posting and reaching out for the support that you deserve. I agree with all total eclipse said. You are doing really well even to just get this far and come to this forum, you are still trying to help yourself. I know things are really difficult for you, and you are struggling, but please try and talk to a doctor about your different options. Take care
Please keep posting and reaching out for the support that you deserve. I agree with all total eclipse said. You are doing really well even to just get this far and come to this forum, you are still trying to help yourself. I know things are really difficult for you, and you are struggling, but please try and talk to a doctor about your different options. Take care- Status