Hi

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by maddogmik, Mar 31, 2011.

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  1. maddogmik

    maddogmik New Member

    Hi I’m Michael, 17, Junior in high school. The last two years have been becoming increasingly harder and it feels like its killing me inside every day. I play football, but I’m worthless on the team, and I actually hate most of the players, but football, I would say, saved me a little. But now its catching back up to me, I see the corruption of people around me and the people I thought I knew corrupted, and iv been getting better and better at guessing who all are *****s, drinkers, and druggies in our school just by looking at them. I look at the world and get sick, seeing people dying all the time on MSNBC’s website, and I hate that the world takes so long to act, as it did in Libya. I’ve also kind of felt unconnected to people, in that I listen to people talk a lot in class, and it seems like all anyone has to say is worthless, and mechanical. people seem just like machines to me, and I know I’m not above it when I reflect on my conversations iv had through the day, almost everything seems predictable. Iv felt unable to connect to people in that no one seems to get where my thoughts, criticisms and hate come from, or if they do they’ve no interest in talking to me about it, and I actually felt inferior talking to the one person iv found that felt a lot of the same things I feel, but I felt stupid because she actually had a reason to suffer, and she’s actually what kind of set me even more over the edge seeing how much pain someone who I perceived as a great person had, and how much she had. All of this I blame on God, and every day I find myself cursing God as loud as I can when I’m alone, for he allows all of this suffering, and created it and just doesn’t do anything to help anyone, and there’s no true reason I can find that would give any justification to anything God has ever done. I cant find meaning in my existence and life. Iv found no purpose in existence, iv found no love back in that inability to connect to people, and really I guess I’m looking here for someone to convince me that life is worth living, for I’ve found no worth. I guess this is only some of the things that bother me, these are all that’s just coming to mind now.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...often times, I felt ppl did not understand me as well...they would tell me to look at the 'bright side' and I could not find it...so I do relate to what you have written...I hope you find the support and caring you are seeking here...and btw, MSNBC-I immediately like you!..welcome again, J
     
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