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Hi everyone I'm new.
the last 4 months or so I been feeling like something sucked all the joy out of my brian. this feeling is killing me. it is like you wake up, do nothing but sitting in front of the computer hope for the day to go by asap. the best part of my day is when i'm asleep, when the night time switches off my concious.
this fact is working my head like nothing else, each day being awake is like hell, and being asleep like heaven. i start having plan to take the final nap. i don't wanna die, but i know for sure i wont carry on forever feeling like this. please tell me someone that there is a way out. cuz if i'm gonna feel like that everyday
i'm definitly gonna kill myself sooner or later.
Hey, how are you?

I am so sorry you are feeling like this, maybe you just need a friend to talk to through the day, why not not drop me a PM we can add each other on MSN or Facebook and become friends? Could you speak to a support helpline? Do you have someone you are able to talk to Face 2 Face such as Couselling, therapy?


total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi you glad you are here and there is hope okay You need meds maybe therapy get new interest You can make new friends here talk in chat hugs to you


Well-Known Member
Hi Redemption, sounds like a clear cut case of depression to me - your quoting the classic signs of the Big D, and I'm sure any doctor would realise that is what you have.

You might have reasons to feel this way. Not wishing to guess at things you might wish to be private so I'll leave that for you to think about. I mean to say, if there are reasons for depression, then generally counselling is the best help maybe with medication also.

Sometimes, depression does not need a reason. you really could be sailing through life with little if any worry and then gradually become less cheerful until you end up at the sorry state of having to think about suicide. I say 'having' to think about it - because depression does seem to make negative thoughts become the focus point in your mind.

Medication works by altering some of the chemical processing the brain - some people might have those chemicals off balance from birth - but its hard to spot depression in children until they become teenagers. Then its difficult to spot whether its just growing up issues, puberty kicking in with hormones that do alter how we think.

In my book, depression is something that can be tackled by a myriad of tactics, each person has their own best self defence against it. For some, education, work or relationships help balance the dark view of the world. Exercise, fresh air, plenty of daylight and sunshine plus a good diet all helps. Medication also - millions use with success but if you had cured depression you might be doing other things than posting up videos or journals to tell people. Most people online only post stuff when they have problems and are looking for answers. Thankfully many people here who have found answers still hang around to pass on the good news.

This depression you feel - no wonder you feel like dying. You say you want to live but do not want to live like this - that's 100% understandable and a natural reaction. good news is that you really do not need to live in this dark place and should book an appointment with your doctor or GP on Monday Morning. Phone on Sunday after midnight and you might have an automated booking system.

Talk to someone also - maybe a family member who would understand.

If not you always got here and people will always talk on the chat and so on.

You really are not alone in this - it seems unique, and it is to you - but those symptoms you describe, have most people here going 'ah yes, had that one, plus the others also'.

My regards and best of luck. There is a life waiting for you once you get this monkey off your back!

Keep holding on and make that appointment!
Hi redemptian,

Just wanted to tell you that although no one can know exactly what it's like to be you, you're not alone. I too have suffered with the feelings you're describing, a sense that the world has lost it's color- everything is just dreary and dreadful. but after time and treatment, things got a lot better for me, even though I'm still struggling sometimes. Things have happened that have brought me great joy that i never even thought of the times i came closest to dying at my own hands. Things can get better. Please seek help if you need it.

Be well,
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