Hello This not the first time I have had suicidal thoughts. But this is the first time where I know I wil actually follow through. I'm in a lot of trouble and I have not told anyone my problem due to embarrassment. For the last few weeks I have been receiving abuse n threats. I owe someone money and I can't pay it back. I have until mon to pay. Also as well I have until wed to get my rent money up. I'm a 27yr old female. I have no other option, the thought of death sends a relief to me but then I know when i die the burden will go to my family,which is what makes it hard. I have no care for my life but I know my death will destroy my family! I have a lot of problems in my life- and I live lie. Everyone tinks I'm happy go lucky but instead I suffer from depression. I'm thinking of taking my life today. I say it so calm, I feel my time is up! I'm worthless. I deserve everything I get. I don't why I'm here- I'm lonely n scared. As I write this I'm crying uncontrollably becos I know I'm gonna do it. I jus wish someone could shield my family from the pain I'm about to cause.