I'm Athnys. It seems like this is where newbies say "hi" and post their histories, so here goes. I've spent my entire life being in everyone else's way. I started my life unwanted, got adopted, and was discovered to have rare and hardly understood (at the time) childhood muscular defects which hindered my teachers' desire to have perfect classrooms and prevented other children from wanting anything to do with me. In school I was regularly bullied, frequently humiliated by teachers, sexually harassed and molested by classmates, treated like a second-class student by teachers (the little things make such a difference), had threats on my life from bullies and enemies (which got me in more trouble than them), sent to different mental health centers for help (read: abuse), prescribed drugs without parental consent or knowledge, and used by friends. Now I'm just a directionless adult with no self-confidence, friends, motivation, or direction and no success in obtaining the ends of my efforts in college. Every career path I have chosen so far, from becoming a priest to teaching to doing computer repair work, has failed. My only real accomplishments since high school were earning a bachelor's degree (which got me nothing but debt), and losing about 160 pounds. I seem to have three moods: apathy, despondency, and annoyance. My fair weather friends find me intolerable when I'm anything but apathetic, it seems. If you got this far, I'll think it kind of strange. No one wants to hear this kind of stuff from me. I'm going to go and find my niche here at SF now.