Hello all who seek relief from life. I'm 19 years old from Georgia(situated near Russian Federation).I've suicidal thoughts about for 2 years. Reasons why i thought about suicide,are much. I had bad childhood,in kindergarten i was bullying,in school also being bullying. Conflicts in my family,almost everyday. Now i'm in university and past life influences on me,i can't change,can't smile,can't be happy and can't even pretend to others that i'm well.When i passed exams well to take place in university i thought that everything will be well.First 2 week in university started well. seemed everything was going well,but the more day passed the more i becoming so depressed. Sometimes, when i close my eyes i see facts when i was bullying and it is eating me internally.At university i'm so badly,i can't concentration,can't think clearly,every second i think about suicide.Now i have problems in university,at home and so on.I forget to tell you i have speech disorder called stuttering, this is main reason why i think about suicide.This disorder influences on me so much,sometimes i cry why i have in this state,what i did,why i deserved it. such thoughts are around my head. I saw videos on about suicide and there people saying that person need help from his parents and from his friends.My parents are both deaf-mute and there are other reasons why they can't help me. Friends - i can't told them, despite whole school life spend with them, they can't understand me. I don't know what to do. God... i don't know how to express all my pains :apologetic: Feel alone,stutterer,guy who can't make normal conversation with people,imbecile. just mistake of nature. Sorry for my English,it isn't my native language.