I am tired of the way my life feels like a constant roller coaster. I have been this way since I can remember really. probably saw my first therapist around age 10. I had a crummy childhood, but no worse than other peoples and much better than so many others. I feel like I'm too old to still be doing these things and feeling this way. I'm 35. I have a college degree. I have two great kids. I live in a great house I don't have to worry about paying for. I have a car that runs great. I've got pets galore... I'm trying to just focus on all of these things I have in my life that are good. so many things... yet... I am so sad. I can't stop these thoughts from haunting me day and night. I just want to be happy. to smile. to enjoy life. I want the pain to stop.