Hi all. I'm Bex, I'm 25. I guess it's obvious from the fact that I'm here that things aren't going well. I'd just about escaped my abusive family, but I had a mental breakdown around 3 months ago and they're dragging me back. Quite literally - I'm physically disabled and when the time comes that I can't lie my way through any more, I will be pulled out of my wheelchair and locked back in their home. I'd worked my way out by getting a degree, a career, a flat of my own, but with the breakdown my career has gone, I can't pay for the flat any more, and there will no longer be any recourse to get out of my parents' house - it's easier to call an acquaintance or the police to effectively break in, find my wheels and get me out when they're taking me back to a home and a job. "Please take me from my parents and put me on a park bench" doesn't really work. As a teen my parents allowed their friend to rape me, repeatedly over 18 months, I don't want to think about what will happen to me if I go back. To top it off my mother makes frequent suicide attempts, and I'm scared that anything I do wrong will either hurt her, or she'll hurt my father. I guess I'm here, as in joining the forum, because I haven't worked out the details of how and when I'm going to do it, and I need to be able to talk about things with someone who doesn't know where I live and can't, therefore, immediately try to have me sectioned (I appreciate that this isn't a place I can talk about methods, but just to be able to say "I am suicidal.") I've already made one attempt on my life and screwed it up, and the mental health team I've seen since have been very kind, but haven't really had any solutions - I'm on medication that helps me sleep and slows me down but they can't take away the past, and they can't take away my family. So, er, yeah. Hi.