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Hi

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xnikox, May 9, 2012.

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  1. xnikox

    xnikox Member

    My name is Nikola.Right now im asking my self why did i typed suicide forum in google?!Do i want help,advice?will it help me?many thoughts are in my head right now.Im to confused right now.Maybe because 2 hours ago i sat on my bike and drove over 200km\h between cars on public road, i survived as every time i try my luck.Im not affraid at all i colud killed somebody inocent...but at the moment i dont think about others a dont think about me.Right now im a drug dealer...im a ex muaythai champion wich choosed wrong side.im 26years old. i hate what i do,but i live in very poor country with parents.My father lost a job 5years ago,my mother lost a job 5months ago...i dont know where to start at all..
     
  2. xnikox

    xnikox Member

    I tried to kill myself many times but every time i survive by some miracle...i got drunk sat on bike and hit concrete wall by the road.i hit it with 97km\h thats what the police sad,i survived somehow, i didnt break anything except bike,how i dont know,i have only few scars on face and body...After that i was thinking and thinking...i did it on purpose thats the biggest problem...HOW IT WILL END UP?
     
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we are here to help you my friend
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Nikola I am sorry you are so sad we are here okay please know we understand hun but i do hope you can seperate yourself for this drug dealing you are doing It will only end up bad hugs
     
  5. xnikox

    xnikox Member

    My girlfriend left me something about 8 months ago,because i cheated her,yes i know i was wrong,she is very nice girl,she is 87. she is master of buisnies psihology.I did everything to make up things right i am single and i just cant keep on with life i live in past time.After all we were together 7years.Now,i am moving limits, once a week i challange myself with game of death and life.I survived every time.i couldnt walk 2months after a crash 160km\h but nothing...i survived.than i hit a wall as i sad,and nothing again,i did many other crayze things,drinked poison end up in hospital with injuries of mouth,nearly died ...never realy beleived in god,but right now a start to wonder.Thats the reason why i am here right now,searching for somekind of help,smart advice.thank you so much!
     
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