hiding in a corner

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by crookxshanks, Mar 12, 2009.

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  1. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    will someone please save me from myself

    i cant stop thinking about doing it. its all clouding my head. im scared but it wont all go away. ive done everything i can to try and get them to go away but they just wont. the feelings. the temptation. i can just so easily

    i just want to go. i cant cope. im a horrible person, i dont deserve all i have and its best if people dont have me around. that way i wont hurt them
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ....you know that's false thinking.

    you know it is a lie, that people are better off without you around. that is SO far from true. way too far from true. losing you would devastate MANY people. many here, and many in real life.

    i know what you have been going through, and i know when it gets unbearably dark....that it seems ''easiest'' to succumb. but it won't give you relief. it will be the end. you won't feel release. and you'll change many lives, for the worst.

    this part of you that is crying out, needs to hang on. hold on to us, and even if you let go, we won't let go... lean on us, and don't listen to the call. it's a lie. and part of you knows that.
    we all love you, and we need you . :console:
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    You have certainly never been anything but helpful and supportive to me and in the replies you give to other peoples posts you always show care and compassion. Sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. Please stay safe. Pm me if ever you need to. Best wishes, S.
  4. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    im also a failure.. i cant even be there when my friends need me to stop them

    see.. i hurt people.. i fail them.. i cant be strong anymore
  5. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ...more lies.

    you are very helpful and caring to your friends.

    not a day goes by that you don't check on me. even though your shoulders are overloaded with your own 'stuff'
    you are one of the most caring people i know.

    you are playing a painful negative tape in your head honey, but it's not true.

    how can i help you? i am here for you..
  6. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member


    can't even read this without crying.

    you are anything but a horrible person.

    let your friends help you.
  7. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    im so sorry everyone i have failed.
  8. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    wot have u failed at hun?

    nuthn in my opinion xx
  9. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    No Mand, this isn't true, we have talked about this before hun. Loook how you were missed when you left for a while! You make a huge difference to this forum Mand, maybe you will never know just how much.
    I know you are hurting and you know I am here for you as are many others. Don't do this, call me if you want or text me or pm, whichever one is best for you. Catch a train down here :)
    Stay, be safe and talk.

    Auntie Lea :arms: :hug: :cheekkiss:
  10. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    you have not failed. you are just like the rest of us - people trying to make it in the world and it is not easy.

    we all found ourselves here at s.f. for various reasons. . .but love, compassion and understanding, make us a community, a family, and we all love you honey.

    i know how much it hurts. and how hard it is and how tired you are. just rest in our circle. i'm not letting go.

    you are doing the best you can - and that is perfect. i love you the way you are. . .
  11. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ...can you call lea?

    can you call your mum, or, can you call the hospital?

    can you talk to one of us please?

    things are going to get better - and those are not empty words.
    you have too much wonderful-ness inside of you. please talk to us honey.
  12. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    hope ur ok.

    sorry am not there for you xx
  13. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun our depression and other mental health issues have a way of showing us horrible untruths and making us completely believe them. Then add in the situations we find ourselves in and bam..... the thoughts are the only answer we see. But you are not anything of the things you say and seem to think you are. And if this is about what we talked about earlier today (?) then you yourself know that isnt the case at all. You didnt fail anyone. You did what you had to do and that's that. Mand the only person you are failing is yourself if you give into the thoughts that are racing in your head. Grab on to one of the many people here that care about you. Dont let go and we promise we wont either. It's hard I know but try to ride this out with real care, support and love from the gang hun. We arent about to give up on you and we certainly arent about to let you give up either!!!! Sending huge hugs and kisses to prove it to you!!! xo
  14. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    just got back from hospital. should be ok but dont feel like it
  15. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Mand,
    You haven't failed any one!! You have always been there with a kind word!! When I was away I kept asking about you and the others said they would pass it on to you. I even e-mailed you a couple of times just to let you know you were in my mind and heart..
    Please don't let these negative thoughts drag you down.. We are here and I am back so you know i will be pestering you every morning!! You are my confidant so you know how much I trust you!! You have in no way let me or anyone else down..Please come out of that corner and let the light shine on you..It's there, I know because I still stand in darkness but can see the light shining, so it gives me hope..
    I love you as if you were my own daughter and don't want anything to happen to you!!!Hold on tight we won't let go!! You already know that my hand is there for you to reach out and grab ahold of!! Take Care!!
  16. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    .....i am glad you are ok, but that term is 'relative', i know.

    you are always on my mind, and i am always here for you .....and our ''family'' is here for you too

    love you xxx:console::handinhand::grouphug:
  17. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

  18. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    hi huni. i cant think of anything productive to say, but i would miss you :hug: i like getting PM's from you.

    i can match you on the cloudedness though. and i'm sorry i cant free you from it.
    i wouldnt want anyone being on the edge.
    loves you
  19. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Why do you think you've failed anyone? Why do you think you should always be strong? You're suffering, you don't need to be strong, you can suffer, you can hurt and you can look after yourself. You're not obligated to anyone here to help them or save them at a time when you're in an out of hospital and feeling so fragile.

    I'm glad to hear you went to the hospital but you're back. Maybe it'd be good to think about where your feelings of having to be strong, and not failing people around you comes from, because it sounds like you're putting other people first and not yourself, especially at a time when you're going through so much. Maybe there's something that helps you by putting other people first, maybe it's a type of escape. I don't know.

    I do hope you try listening to yourself and realising that you are a wonderful person, that you don't need to help anyone here when you're unwell, and that your life matters because it's yours and no one elses.

    I would miss you loads if you vanished, and you didn't leave because you felt better and didn't need this place.
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