hiding

[christine1114]

my entire life just loose the weight.. from my family and some friends they have no idea that this is just a mask am hiding behing. And it is very tiresome it takes a lot of work just to hide all these years. What does it feel like to normal.. to really love yourself.. I Never learned or knew? I would really like to know how does it feel to look in the mirror and say your ok you will be fine stop hiding ..

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

Do you feel your overweight? so that's why you hide.

 

[Remedy]

Do you have a therapist? I think you would benefit from talking to one. It can really change your perspective.

 

[Scum]

I agree with Mel. A therapist should be able to help you work on the issues you feel.

Why is it so important to hide from everyone how you really feel?

 

[swimmergirl]

It sounds like it is very painful to keep up the charade, and yet you desperately want to feel better about yourself but you are really afraid.

How are you protecting yourself? Is it really working for you? Do you want to change? Do you feel like you need help?

I think it is amazing that you posted here and shared this, I think lots of people feel like this sometimes and can relate to your pain and frustration and yearning to feel love. Thank you for sharing it, and I hope you feel ok to share more. I am sure it feels overwhelming right now, but with some help or just by venting hopefully you can start to feel a bit better.

 

[christine1114]

I was molested when I was under the age of 11. I remember what happen. BUt I dont remember when, when I was 13 I was in over my head in a very abusIVE relationship with a 16yr old. I was raped and abused over and over again. My self worth well I dont have any. Well I dont remember anything under the age of 11. Does anyone remember anything when they were under the age of 11. Is that normal? Well from the age 12 I would not go out unless I had a big shirt on top of what am wearing or a coat to cover up what kind of phobia is that. Cause if I dont I feel very volunarable and I GO into a very quiet panic atttach sososo

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

Have you considered talking to a professional/therapist about all this? It seems like you have a lot of past memories and experiences that you want to let out.

 

[christine1114]

spoke to one many years ago and he said to me well what do you want from this.. he said I think you will do better in group therapy, he look board with me.. I told him It took alot for me just to get myself through to the door just to see him.. I have a issue with trust and no.. so he kinda pissed me off and then I went to a a female therapist and she look as if she was bored and had no interest in me. The therapists had no idea how to deal with me... I blame them for not putting in a 100 percent when I waS Trying... I think I would receive more interest from a auditor if I was being audited. This is the first time I spoke here because AM not being judge and I can just logged off if it gets to be too much.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

I'm sorry to hear about the two therapists you had seen. Well, what do you think about group therapy? Is it something you would consider?