I'm good at ranting. Jk. I have not been pushed this hard in a while. My mind is torn. I hate eating because it makes my throat feel nasty which makes me nervous. I feel like a poorly made car. Always something wrong. I coughed up water and a granola bar yesterday because I couldn't swallow it. I despise myself for having so much wrong. There is no reset button for life.If there were it wouldn't matter anyway. It felt like my food was stuck earlier. I hate when parts of my throat swell or when I get sore throats. It sucks. I have to constantly drink water or shit will hit the fan. Why is my body breaking so quickly. My mind is trying not to break as fast. I just don't know what to do. I tried calling the doctor but I have to wait until the 16th. I hate myself for being so defective. This is supposed to happen to people who are older and with habits that are not healthy. I hate this shit.