Highs and lows are so normal...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SaraRose, Sep 28, 2011.

  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    How is it just a few hours ago I was happy with life again. It had been an amazing 3 days where I felt happy. I smiled for real at work again. I was able to laugh for real, laughed over everything at work, real laughs. I had put my phone away on breaks and was able to talk to the people at work. I knew that even though my life was wasted time I felt that I could actually stand it. Like I could actually change it and make myself matter. I could see the light at the end of this never-ending tunnel.

    But now, out of no where I'm finding myself realizing that- "Hey that wonderful life you have, what do you have to show for it? Ha, a job! Puh-lease everyone can do that!"

    I feel that wonderful happiness going away. And it's coming to horrible crashing depression. :/ I should be used to this, it's like the title says "highs and lows are so normal." This is a weekly venture for me. I feel great, then go back to wanting to cry, to only come back and feel overjoyed.

    I had only hoped it would last longer. It just...amazes...me how fast the change comes. It's like just 5 mins ago I was happy and reading and having fun. Then the one simple thought gets into my head; "you're almost 30 and look at what you have...nothing..." Then the anxiety comes and it goes to depression.

    Then it goes back to "Hey this life is great."

    It's tiring. So very tiring to go up and down.

  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I don't know how high your ups are or how down your downs are, but I can sort of relate (a teeny bit) to having your mood go down and up unexpectedly. Often seems endless to me. Hopefully your appointment next week can be something that helps you in the long run.
  3. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I'm really hoping.

    Cuz I mean they are just so tiring. I mean just yesterday I was excited about moving out of town. I had new states planned and was trying to see how it would work.

    And now I'm just staring knowing that really...there is no way. I'm stuck here forever. I wanna do nothing but sleep again...
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I get that.
  5. passingthrough

    passingthrough Active Member

    I get it too. It is exhausting, but you need to try and keep hope that there is something that will hope. (I'm trying too)