I had a really weird thought recently. I should hire an escort to act as the person I loved and lost. Then I can take her out on the town. Take her to dinner. Give her an expensive ring as I can afford, and give her a big hug goodbye. Then I can be happier when I leave this world. What do you guys think? It may seem creepy at first, but I'm sure I can find someone to play the part. I've even set some ground rules. 1. Only hugs, so no kissing or messing around. 2. I may cry a little, so she has to be comfortable with that. 3. I get to call her the name of the person I love. It will end, and then I can forgive myself and die happy.