Ive had a great few days stayed at the boyfriends house been out with people had a bit of a laugh. and lastnight when i got back to my empty house... i hit rock bottom once again.. i dont really know what triggerd it i was arguing with my boyfriend over some other person that likes me. i know where hes coming from and i know exactly what i feel... ive never felt so alone in my life everything crashed down within a few seconds and its still the same today... lastnight.. i could have done it... i could have done anything to kill myself.... did i try? yes. but it only made it worse i couldnt even do that right... I must be one hell of a loser to be honest. why would he even care? because eachtime he says he doesnt care i believe it.. he deserves so much better than me... If im not arguing with him.. its someone else the things ive had people say to me over the past couple of days have all taken their toll on me... i feel worn down i cant actually cope with this anymore. What with the flashbacks and the constant waking up kicking and scream, having my boyfriend cuddling me at night and then trying to fight him off thinking hes someone else just cant do it anymore :unsure: And to him. im sorry.