This past week two things have hit so close to home. I feel like it is such a struggle because I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Earlier in the week when the country music star committed suicide, the night before I had a suicidal episode and almost attempted. It's hard to comment on that. I guess it was kind of a look into the reality if I did commit suicide. I found the news on Facebook. That is also where my friends would hear the news, should I commit suicide. Yesterday. There was a shooting where I live (Las Vegas). The shootings do not affect me much because they have never happened in the area where I am. Also they're usually domestic incidents between two parties. Well this shooting caused a six car accident with a taxi cab bursting into flames, and killing both the driver and the tourist. Innocent People. Today I discovered the tourist is from the very small town where I grew up in. Not in Nevada, but in Washington State. That hits close to home. The only time you hear of that town is from the news in Washington. Another thing that makes this incident hit close to home is the fact it happened at the intersection where I turn off the strip. I am at that intersection once or twice a week. When all this happened I wanted to keep quiet about it to not put a bad name on Las Vegas. This is a safe place. I still believe it is. I have to admit though. I am going to the strip tomorrow and find myself a little scared. Not because I feel in danger, but because I don't want to believe this happened. It feels like a nightmare, and then I see a news report and am reminded that this really happened. I did want to keep this quiet because as a local I see the good of Las Vegas. It's a wonderful place to live and I would not want to be anywhere else. But as the national attention built, I felt the need to comment on what happened. But now I question if it is national news or just on every Las Vegas news station. Perhaps I should keep my mouth shut to not spread the news. Work through this alone. I feel sad because I love my city and the opportunity I have had here. I hate the bad light this has put on it. I thought that was the original reason for being sad, but I think there is more to it. I have also been putting long and stressful hours with work. Perhaps that is part of it. All I know is I need this chapter to pass.