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Sarah, please . . please . . reply to this . .
you can't go just like that, you've gone this far and i read most of your other posts of hopelesness and somehow you always get through them . .
you can get through this one, deal with it . . please i BEG of you
I don't know you personally but i have to say i read most of your posts which i can find . .
stay with us . . stay with me . . let's just say you are one of my inspirations
you have conquered mahjor urges of suiciding . . sooo many times
it always hurts i know, but there are more reasons to live than you think
it's different for different people but you have a reason, you have significance, your not empty sarah . stay
Sarah, hun I hope you don't go through with this. Life can and wil get better if you just keep trying. I use to be one of the most hopeless person on earth, most are surprised UI am continuing to get better and am still alive. You can make it too, I too can't see life getting better for myself and this bad thing and that and so on, but I can't keep letting this depression and menntal illness winning. I won't let it, I am scared, mad, in pain and so many things, I know you are too, but you can make it, Sarah. I know you can, please hang in there sweetie, please.
If I may ask a question, do you actually hear voices? Or are the voices more like thoughts?
I'm sorry you're so tormented, but from what I've been reading on this thread alone, you've already been through so much, it would a be a shame and a discredit to your astounding perservence to give up now, don't you think? I know that sounds like a cold comfort, but it's the truth.
I know what it feels like after facing certain traumatizing situations, or...certain people. So, I can relate in that sense. But, if you could be more specific about your problems I'm sure others, including myself, would be glad to give advice.
Please don't kill yourself, it's rarely justifiable and degrades you as a person. There is so much to live for, given a person has a proper (appreciating) view on life. I've seen terrible things in my life, some are self-generated (thoughts) others are external, they are both equally bothersome, and terrifying. But, if you never attempt to change your view on the world, even the beautiful things in life seem corrupt and disgusting. I should know, I've been languising in that pit of darkness for several years, festering in a baseless hatred for certain people, apathy towards the rest. Only recently have I begun to change my views on the world. It's been mildly successful so far, but true change takes time.
I don't want to seem like I am cramming religion down your throat. But I myself have sought other solutions, and they haven't helped, sometimes they've made it worse. People are flawed, and they won't always be able to help you, only a higher power can during certain moments in your life (sometimes in conjunction with caring people).
I've found that religion (in my case, Christianity) has helped me remain objective about my problems, and be even more human, and feel emotions (the good ones) more strongly. Again, I am not trying to be evangelical for the sake of earning "heaven points," I'm just trying to help. And I've come to realize that quoting scripture (which I 'm no good at) only goes so far. You just have to relate to people and comfort them the best you can, while turning them gently towards the Truth. So, PM me if you want. I'll try my best to help.
I have the same feeling Sarah, if you read one of my post, i too have just recently commited suicide and chickened out of it . .
one thing i could assure you
if you die, i'll go along as well . .
at this point we're on the same boat. if you will fight i will . .
like i said i don't know you but i care, i really do . .
i can understand your pain, maybe not exactly but i have similar feelings.
that so called "voice" are actually doubts, it's ourselves that we are against
please for my sake and yours, let's help each other to try and live.
who knows maybe there is a purpose to live.
i still feel bad but i've read a book called "purpose driven life" by Rck Warren
i just read (5 minutes ago) the first chapter, i was crying while reading
and the book did make me feel better . . but still bad . .
"you are not an accident, you are here for a reason . . . "
"just by being born, you are a winner .. . "
these lines may not seem much in another's eyes, but to me it saved me from attempting suicide for at least a few days, the book requires the reader to read one chapter a day . .
i suggest you read this book it is religious but still it's worth a look at . .
thankyou tiredandalone.. hugs.. i never feel them offline.. but feel them so much on here.. :hug:
ace- ill try getting that book, i should try to make it through xmas, although, ridding this ripped apart soul for those to bath their happiness in seems like a good present.. who knows? i never will.. if i succeed, my suicide, my death, will cause the happiness, the cheers, and laughs, on xmas day, it will make them smile again, all of them, no more crying, tears turning into joy, hatred switching back to love and the daughter who is named 'mistake' shall be removed from the existence..yes, im officially talking bullshit now.
Inner- voices.. sometimes its others talking to me.. sometimes its me.. telling myself things.. for example, say im attempting suicide, i tell myself, 'dont be a chicken, do it, f*cking do it you fat ugly shit, no one loves you, you'd be better off dead', other times i hear someone elses voice, saying the same things, sometimes other things, but that inteferes a lot with my OCD..
ive too many problems to type, i dont want to cause any pain, ill cry typing it out, i know it, too much to type, not enough time inwhich to do it in..
cannot pm you, under moderation, which is understandable to a certain extent.. my emails firstname.lastname@example.org, if you wish to email me, or add me even, id be grateful truly, and reply.. asap.. if ive not met my destiny already.. i could reply..
im deciding whether to die on xmas day, make it a xmas present for those whom know me, love for me is impossible, no one can love me, not a soul, not a living creature, nothing, im the unlovable, in this house, this family, im the depression, depression doesnt deserve love, deserves to be killed, yes, but love? no.. someone.. someTHING such as myself.. such a disgusting.. 'creature' deserves torment and death.. eternal torture beyond expressable.. such words wont be able to describe the pain.. i feel as though i cannot tell the pain i live in day in and day out, but i deserve it, i deserve it, reasons beyond, i deserve every bad thing that comes to me, every little thing.
Sarah, please don't give up, you can find a good therapist that could help... please don't make us lose you, you mean a lot to us and you can get better, you can beat this, it just doesn't want to you to see that you can.
sarah.please listen hun.there are so many people here who care about you sweetheart.i happen to be one of them...dont do this.i am here for you when you need to talk.dont give up.im not giving up on you sarah.please dont give up on me.....:sad: